Sunday, July 31, 2011

Location, Location, Location...

Mom used to ask me where I thought I wanted to end up. The only answer I ever gave her was "Nowhere I've already been." I still find that to be mostly true. So that rules out:
  • New York City
  • Atlanta
  • Omaha
  • Savannah
  • Wilmington
  • St. Louis
  • Upstate NY
  • Connecticut
  • Washington D.C
  • San Francisco
  • Half Moon Bay, CA
A friend and I were talking about this the other night, as he lives in LA because he has to (he's an actor). We got to talking about what we would look for in the perfect place to live. I told him that I wasn't sure where I wanted to end up, but I had a list of things I did and did not like. So, here's my list:
  • I'm tired of 105+ degree heat index. I like the sun, but am over this heat and humidity crap for three months.
  • Someplace that has a median temperature in the 60s would be nice, with some sunny, warm days.
  • I'm not a big fan of winter, so unless it briefly snows and then goes away, not into that.
  • I would like somewhere in between a small town and small city. Not really keen on a place where everyone knows your business.
  • Liberal politics. Pretty much a place where you can state an opinion based on intellect and not be crucified for it.
  • I like the ocean, I love living by the water. But I realized this summer, that doesn't mean I'm going to want to go to a crowded beach full of people, or go into the water. So maybe West Coast and their 60 degree water would work.
  • Decent cost of living.
  • Decent access to an airport. It's a bit of a pain in the ass to drive two hours to an airport, and have to get there two hours early for an hour flight. 
  • Would like to have a house with a little bit more land, little less crowded in with other people. But I don't want to live in the boonies and worry about Nehi, bears and other critters.
There are a lot of other factors of course. With it being only six months since Mom died, I still feel as though my head is a jumble.
I've been made department chair at work, I like teaching online, there are opportunities at the community college. It could be that I'm happier with this new situation.
There just seem to be so many big questions- many of which I've pondered here before: what do I want to do? What would make me happy? Where would I want to go? Would I be happy here teaching for a community college? Would I want to move halfway across the country all on my own with no safety net? What if I'm miserable? Do I have to take into consideration everyone else, or is it okay to be selfish about this? Make a decision purely for myself? Either way, too big a thing to back away from.
Another friend of mine said that there's a reason Jews don't make any big decisions for a year after a death. And that makes sense to me. But there are things boiling here at home that are bringing into sharp focus the fact that I may have to make some big decisions and soon. So, if my hand is forced, I guess the question is, what do I do?
L.M Montgomery, who wrote the Anne of Green Gables series, also wrote another series, Emily and there's a bit that sticks into my mind. Emily has to make a big decision, and she goes around asking everyone their opinion. In the end , what she really wants is someone to tell her what to do, but only if that advice is what she's already decided. I can relate. Except for the fact that I haven't decided.
Still wish someone would help me out though.
Still feel as though I am floundering.