- I know you think when you're drinking on the beach that it somehow gets rid of that extra weight you've gained, adds on the hair you've lost and you're transformed into a cutie from a beer commercial. The reality is you annoy your neighbors, and prove your stupidity because drinking in high heat and humidity is only guaranteed to make you seriously ill.
- If you're going to play football, put the beer down and either play close to the water or up by the dune. Do not try and catch a football with a beer in your hand three feet from me. Because when you hit me, I will not be happy. And- by the by, it's rude.
- If you're one of those families that includes four million members and lots of screaming children, make sure you set up next to the rest of the screaming families. Trust me- they are easy to spot. Do not set up next to the singletons that just want to read their book and catch some rays.
- The beach is lovely and gorgeous. So while you're there, and when you leave, take your crap with you. There are lots of trash cans and recycling bins that you pass on the way out to your car. Use them.
- Remember those cute little politeness rules you learned as a 5 year old? USE THEM! Yesterday, I got hit by a football thrown by drunk frat boys with no apology. A friend told me a story about a family using his beach chair to store a family's boogie boards, and yet another person shared how she got pooped on by seagulls because the family next to her kept feeding them french fries. That's all rude, whether you're at a park, a pool or the beach. So DON'T DO IT.
And the next time you're at the beach, try to act like a human being. Remember, just because no one knows you here, doesn't mean that you can act any way you want.