I was looking out over the yard today, and looking down at my muddy, soaking wet Nehi and couldn't help but think that summer seems very far away. The days of sun and green grass, and not wading through muck seems very, very far away.
Things are gearing up for Bread Loaf, which usually seems to herald that summer is just around the corner. But this year, it seems all I do is look out on my flooded yard and wonder if spring and summer will ever come. It seems hard to remember warmth, and sunshine and being dried out.
I have my plans for what I want to do in the yard this year, and my list of seeds for the garden, but it seems hard to imagine what it will look like in light of the reality that faces me every day as I look out at the backyard.
Part of it I think is what I like to think of as the "futility of Nehi". It seems as though I have to start over so much of what I did last summer. Nehi has pulled up most of what I planted last year. Plants that were doing well- the jasmine, the hybiscus. So, starting over. Rethinking. Evaluating what I can replant (and hope she's old enough to not do it again) and what I need to do to prevent her from doing it again.
I want longer days, sun all the time, digging in the dirt (not mud).
But it does seem very hard to imagine now. I know it's only January, and to people who live above the Mason-Dixon, it may seem weird to imagine spring and summer. But down here, we're teased with 65 degree days of sunshine like earlier this week, and so the dream of spring and summer seems just out of reach.
I dream of it anyway.